I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
