butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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