I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
