Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
