is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
