well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
