woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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