So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
