There was a lot of him and a little penis
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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