The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
