CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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