Your tits are I can't wait for
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
