I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
