Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
