so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
