8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
