hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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