Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
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