guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
