I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
