His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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