Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
