Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
