I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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