I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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