Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
