My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
