forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
