Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
They took my balls.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
