they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
