Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
