found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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