We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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