you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize