summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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