I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
