you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
