I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
