drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I know her cup size but not her name....
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
