i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
