I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
