Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
