I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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