I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize