exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
