I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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