forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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