Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My bed smells like the plague
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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