I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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