Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The air was thick with penises
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
