The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
