16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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