i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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