He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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