Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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