WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
