Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
