Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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